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Last night without you

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Wind whips at the tent
Where sleeping row
Of sticky faces
Fill so many spaces
In this heart

But I lay here awake
Counting the hours
Minutes
Seconds
Until we’re no longer apart

And that thought
Makes my heart
Skip so many beats
And the intrepid heat
Inside this tent
Is like the most luxurious
Of retreats

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Let’s build sandcastles

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Just after the crow of the cock
In the distance water laps at the dock
In the trees birds sing
Bring the sunlight into view

But somehow the splendour
Before me
Becomes muted
When it isn’t shared with you

As the train takes you
To the daily grind
Oddly wishing I was there too
If it only meant
I was next to you

Or you were here to see
This lake before the chaos
Of splashing kids
Sticky faces and sunny smiles

So I send my heart
The commuted miles
To sit next to you on that train
And rain kisses
On that beautiful face

Even though nothing could replace
Me sitting next to you
Hand in hand
Whether it be going to work
By a lake
Or somewhere in between

In this hourglass
With every drop of sand
Let’s build sandcastles
Together, hand in hand

Birthday gift

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There aren’t enough
Ribbons
Or bows

To wrap
This love I have
For you

That just grows
And grows
And grows

As you blow
Out your candles
To mark
Another year
Around the sun

I want to give
You so much more
Then what
Fits in a box

Just so much laughter
And fun
Until cheeks
Stretch
And we roll into a pile
Of upturned faces

Days and weeks
Of sun
Full of green spaces
Hand in hand

Races
To waters edges
Pledges
And pinky promises

Where for moments
The hourglass
And the sand stand still

And we take our fill
Of happiness
And kisses

And silly wishes
Just grand enough
To come true

And more trips
around the sun
Together
For me and you

Insecurities

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Inside this chaotic mind
thoughts push
And pull

Bully one another
For the opportunity
To press rewind

Before they line up
One by one
Row by row

To repeat
Every unkind
Untrue
Out of the blue

Come unglued
Cruel commentary
Of self doubted thought

Self taught
For naught
Word, by word, by slicing word

That strips the confidence
From these bones
In condescending tones

Until the only thing left
Is this child
Inside this woman’s mind

Thinking
She’s obviously
Out of her league
And what were
they possibly thinking

When they thought she
Was worthy
Of such lofty pursuit

And now they’ll surely find
That she’s a fraud here blinking
In her empty head
So little to be said

Moments of Sunshine

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Little pockets of space
Linger
To try and erase

Tensions race
Fears
Warm embrace

And I sit here
Raising my tired face
To the sun

Praying
Not to come
Undone

Never satisfied

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They line up
For their turn
Arms crossed
At the wait times

Fingers wagging
At everything
I’ve surely missed

Subtly nagging
Without
saying the words

All the while
The motivation
Lagging
To find solutions

Yet wanting
Resolutions
Readily
Available

But inevitably
not liking
My answers

Little reminders of faith

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Words are churning
Acid burning
Holes in my gut

Tears down my cheeks
As I sit and fight
This voice inside my head

Tells me it’s just not enough
And as I do what I do
To ease the pain

Surf through social media
To escape this world
Endlessly scrolling
Mindlessly trolling

I see your smiling face
And remember the day
I looked through the lens
And took that shot

And the knots
start to unwind
Just a little bit
And these unkind
Inward thoughts

Turn from roar
To whisper

Where I still know
I can’t do it all
but must have faith
That somehow

It’s gonna to be okay
And there smiling back at me
Your smiling eyes

And the love I see there
I know somehow
It doesn’t lie

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